the meaning of life.

what is the meaning of life?

life is just like a movie acted by human beings as u watch in the television. when a baby is born, he or she will be the main character for the movie. till the day u depart, the movie ends as well. depending on luck, ur character has been chosen by god. whether ur role is a male or female and whether u are born in a poor or a rich family and lastly, the location tat ur gonna be born.

everyone often ask about whether god is fair or not? most of them will say god isn't fair, some ppl are born rich and some are born poor. some are even born disabled. yes, if u look from this perspective, god is really not fair by giving some ppl advantages in their life and some ppl disadvantages in life. but from my point of view, god is fair, the matter is whether how we look at it. yes, this boy might born in a rich family but without his mother, he has to go through life with tears, his mother met an accident and passed away when he was just only 1 year old. this boy is unfortunate, born without his legs, very inconvenient. but he is born with the love from his family. therefore, we don't know whether god is fair or not due to so many ppl living in this world.

so what is the meaning in life? what are they supposed to do in order to be successful in life with their capability, strength, love, wisdom, advantage, disadvantage, care, etc. given from god? life is mainly a story created by ourself. ur able to choose the route and path of ur life during the 2nd stage. the 1st stage as i mentioned, u can't choose becuz it has been chosen by god. during the 2nd stage, u have the right to choose and continue the life which u think it's ideal for u.

the are 3 important elements in life. they are love, money and happiness. many ppl ended their movie by committing suicide bcuz of failing in a relationship and many ppl ended their life bcuz they cant solve their money matters. many ppl say money cannot buy happiness, true, love and happiness is the only thing which money couldn't buy. but money still plays a very important role in life due to the reason that humans will turn evil bcuz of money. in life, many ppl think that in order to be successful in life, they have to earn loads of money. so during the whole journey of their life, their job is just to find and earn money. such a boring life. 

whereas, some ppl will enjoy life to the fullest. they dont seek for money, they seek for happiness instead. "live it up!! drink it down!! it's my life!! it's now or never!! i'm gonna live forever!!" they often go drinkin, clubbin, sessionin etc. but in order to enjoy life, u have to spend $$$. but how do u wanna earn $ when ur enjoying ur life everyday and night? in order to be successful in life, a human must know how to make use of his/her 24/7 wisely. have to balanced it nicely for work, fun, health etc. life is just a very simple thing i supposed, but it can also be extremely complicating if u want ur life to be complicated. ur the one who's controlling ur life. so just keep it as simple as possible and u will notice that life is actually so beautiful.

this is a story about a boy...

25 years ago...

it was 3.00 o'clock in the morning, a sound like the trumpets of angels was heard inside the baby's room of the assunta hospital, petaling jaya. it was a sound of a newly born boy crying. the parents were so excited and they decided to name the baby andrew. the alphabet "a" definately is to hope tat this baby will always scores an "a" during his examinations and pass everything with flying colours. wisdom will be the suitable word for the baby. the alphabet "a" represents the word wisdom. the parents are hoping that as the baby grows, he will be a smart and intelligent boy.

his chinese name will be kee keam shin. in the direct translation from chinese to english, the name means a "clear sword". having a heart as clear as crystal meaning that u have a kind heart and u have never committed any sins. having a strong health as strong and as solid as a platinum sword meaning that u have a very strong energy and strength includes with a healthy life.

wisdom, kindness, strength and health are mainly those elements that every parents wants their children to have and hoping that god will bless their child with these 4 main elements because when a couple give birth to a baby, introducing a new life to this world, their parents will put in all their hopes and wishes to the baby and pray the best in everything for the baby becuz the baby will be taking over the responsibility to represents both of his parents to continue living.

as time goes by, this little boy is growing healtily. he is such a healthy and intelligent little boy. his parents were so glad and happy as they see their child is growing up healtily. he scores good grades for his examinations during kindergarden. however, as this little kid grew older, he is even smarter. 

at the age of a teenager, age about 23 years old. he started to be too smart, being too smart is not a good thing becuz it will lead someone to be more lazy physically. therefore, he decided to do everything using shortcuts. this includes earning money. however, he did not realise tat he has made a very big mistake by dealing drugs to earn fast money and he started to mix with the wrong group of ppl.

he ended up again and again in the police station. his parents was so fed up with his behaviour and decided not to bail him for the 4th time after 3 times of bailing. they wanted to let him learn his lesson in the prison himself. now, it has been months tat he is in the sg. buloh prison. thinking of a reason why does his parents don't wanna bail him.

day after day in the prison, he finally decided to stop thinkin about the reason why. it is becuz no matter how hard he thinks, he will still never gets the reason and he will never understand, so he gives up thinking. he neglected the question and told himself that "time will tell".

after a few weeks, it's lifeless in here. from day to night sitting down alone and starts thinking again. he suddenly thought of the question tat he hasn't been solved by him which is the reason why. at the same time, he heard some voices talking in his brain. he is like talking to himself without him even notice. becuz the answer finally reveals. the god is passing him a message through his own brain by letting him think and look further. which means, the time has come..
 

"yes, they made a huge mistake by not bailing u out".
 

"they didn't becuz they don't know wat kinda place is sg. buloh".
 

"but, just relax and try to think from their point of view".
 

"they have no choice but to try every single way as long as they think tat there is a possibility to help u".
 

"we dont know about their plannings, it might be helpful and it might also be just rubbish".

"all u need to do is to bear in mind tat they are ur parents and they will never harm u".

"try recalling how did ur parents treat u eversinced u were born".

"the amount of tears and sweat and even blood that they have dripped for u".

"the amount of love and care that they had poured out to share with u".

"the amount of pain and scars tat u left for them, so sad yet tragic".

"but no matter how much u hurt them, they are the one and only two who never give up on u!!"

"their love for u are worthless!!"

"because ur their precious little one who inherites their blood."

"so as their child, u should have a full trust to the both of ur daddy and mummy that they will never harm u in anyway".

"all they will do for u is to stay and stand by ur side supporting u so tat u wont fall, giving u hope and strength, providing u with love and care till their very last breath".

whether the answer is given by god or whether it comes from my own thinking, i dont know. all i know is, at least i have my own satisfying answer now. therefore, i wont blame them for not bailing me out from this fucking place because they both are the only one who will never brings me to an end... thank you so much daddy and mummy.. i'm so sorry for not being an ideal child and sorry again for all the disappointments and pain tat i've brought to both of you.. lastly, may both of you blessed with good health and may you both always be surrounding by happiness.. i love you all loads...

Prison Break (Part III)

a week has passed..

well, it is monday morning. didn't really that a week has passed just like that. today ah thong and i have to shift block from damai to abadi 1. first timers to sg. buloh will automatically be thrown to abadi 1. 2nd timers and so on will go to cekal while ppl who commits other crimes beside drug offence will be placed in abadi 2 and for those who has committed serious drug offence such as 39b after their kimia report arrived will be placed in berkat and for those ppl who has already after finish remanding will be staying in ehsan. next, damai is a block to quarantine the ppl after they came back from court for 7 days before they enter back to their own block. lastly, tawakal is the block for ppl who commits offence in the prison itself. offence such as drug dealings, drug usings, fighting etc...

i was kinda lucky, while i was waiting to shift block, i saw ah keat (the guy who looks like me) lining up waiting to shift back to his own block too. he invited me to go to his room sinced he is also staying in abadi 1. so ah keat organized with the ppl who incharge there to place me in his room while ah thong in room 75 becuz there is also a vietnamese stayin in tat room. i settled down in room no 74. having 2 room mates who is ah keat and another is a 50 years old uncle name kc. the room in abadi 1 is so big difference compared to damai due to the cleanliness.

at first, it was quite hard for me to adapt to the living style due to the reason.. yea, i'm lazy. i dunno how to do house chores such as washing clothes and dishes. plus, cleanin the toilet. but i stil have to do becuz these are the basics tat has to be done by a new comer. on the next day, a myanmar guy name nyi, 47 years old came back from court. he is a damn hardworking guy. he helps and teaches me alot in doing the chores. 

apart from doing the chores, i need to learn how to see, feel and analyse a person in a short period of time by just lookin at their faces and by listenin to their words. the reason is becuz ppl in prison are mostly not simple. u dunno when are they real or fake, wat are their intentions and definately it's hard for u to understand them due to the twists and turns in their words and actions. for example, sometimes they are just so sweet and caring by giving u medicine for ur flu but they can also fuck u up nicely just immediately straight after passing u the medicine. which means their mood and feelings can be changed in just a few seconds. by puttin myself in their shoes, i feel more comfy. i said to myself, they are weird and stress is cuz they are lost. they has been in the prison for years, how pityful and so, it is normal for them to be unreasonable sometimes.

after stayin for about a few weeks in here, i think loads such as earning 1 million in a short period of time, getting married, plannin on where to go for holidays, my grandmother, my family and friends etc. due to the amount of "jalans" here, earning 1 million is just as easy as abc but definately u have to be ready for the risk and the consequences tat u might be facing. thinkin too much will caused insanity. therefore, we have to relax ourselves by just chit-chattin. we talk about bullshits, stories, jokes, past experiences and more. as time goes by, i feel tat stayin in the prison isn't tat hard neither suffer after all. u can watch television on monday and thursday, library on monday, outdoor activities on tuesday and friday, soccer on big field is available on tuesday, can go for praying on monday, thursday, saturday and sunday to meet ah hock etc. after experiencin myself, i think tat sg. buloh is not as scary as what i thought before. those rumours are just a little too exaggerating. i guess rocketing is the only rumour which is true about sg. buloh which i've heard before. the fact is, sg. buloh is fucking boring.. as for me, the most suffering part was just durin the beginning, i cannot accept the fact tat i have to clean the toilet!!! gross!! 

almost a month ever sinced i've been caught. during the month, many incidents had happened, our rooms being check, we were brought to test our urine (thank god my urine was negative). and i've learnt alot which will never gonna have a chance to learn outside such as lighting a cigarettes without a lighter, just with some fire sparks and a tiny cloth is already enough to start up a fire. also, i have learn how to rocket but the problem of rocketing is only about the hygene. adding on, i'm very thankful cuz i've met alot of new friends ere. they are ppl from all around the world and so wat if they all prisoners? they are all mostly good ppl whereas i think the villians are the cops becuz they cheat, lie and steal. i'm also proud of myself cuz i can understand english. by understandin english, i'm capable of communicating with ppl from other countries. 

one month has passed without noticed. they are new ppl coming in and they are also old ppl going out. ah thong has been bailed on the 28th july but he must stay in malaysia for a month so tat he could help the police for further investigations. therefore, he is not allow to go back to vietnam for the mean time. but stil, there goes my best fren in prison. well, i'm no more longer a new person. lol, there are a few chinese new comers. one of them is called ah choy, 46 years old, was caught with the amount of 250 boxes of erimin 5. sinced ah thong has left room no 75, ah choy will be his replacement. ah choy and i get along very well, he helps me alot by lendin me his phone card and he thought me alot as well. now, i dun have to wash the toilet anymore becuz there is a new comer in my room. his name is ah chye, a 45 years old man who is addicted to heroin and likes to talks alot about his past. whether his story is true or not, only god knows. haha.. awhile afterthat, wilson, a 40 years old guy from singapore who shifted to my room due to insufficient amount of ppl in his room.

started to know more and more ppl here. the africans, iranis, myanmarians and others. with these contacts, one day when i'm out from here, definately i'm not gonna be who i was before. it might be in the good or in the bad way. i dunno. but as a human being, for sure i have grown up to another stage. for instance, just like a kid to a teenager, a teenager to an adult. these tat i've mentioned are all basing on age wise and wat i meant of growing up another stage is basing on experience wise and the stage of maturity goes higher. i was asleep for a total of 68 days and i had the worst nightmare in my life. now tat i'm awake, i want to conclude the nightmare which lasted me for 68 days, the nightmare is officially over now and it's the beginning of the reality in life fulfilled with dreams and fantasies just like the fairytale story which concludes with love and happiness...